Happy Resurrection Sunday!

So many people have posted neat little quotes, verses, and praises over the past two days. I have really enjoyed reading them, and it has helped me think through some things.

I think many times I as a Christian wonder why I don’t grieve more over what Christ did for me on the cross. Many times I see people cry or get emotional when talking about the crucifixion of our savior, and while I do feel a somber respect, I never grieved.

Someone posted a link to an article that, when I initially read, I totally disagreed with. It focused on each and every physical, painful aspect assumed to have happened during Christ’s death on the cross, and not on the spiritual and mental agony, which I believe is the main happening in those long moments.

I got to thinking about it more, and I realized that yes, what my Lord went through physically was terrible, VERY terrible. But then I thought about the REAL reason of Jesus’ death.

There’s a song that has a phrase, “It was not of pain, but a broken heart (Jesus) died.”

Jesus died a lot sooner than “normal” and way before the two thieves that hung next to Him. Why? I thought about the things I associated Christ’s death with. He took EACH and EVERY sin on Himself. In those moments, He felt the weight, the grief, and the guilt of each and every one of those sins. I know that there were times that I sinned, and the guilt made me miserable enough to cause me to feel physically ill. Jesus felt that. Every time that I could not go to bed because of something I had said or done, He felt that. He felt ALL of the weight from EVERY sin I committed or will commit in ONE space of time. When I think of all that I’ve done, and how terrible I’ve felt for different ones of them, I could not even begin to imagine trying to hold the guilt for ALL of them in one day. That would be unbearable! HE did! But not only for my sins, but for the sins of the ENTIRE WORLD.

“The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear?” – Proverbs 18:14

There have been so many people through history that have endured unthinkable torture and physical agony, yet have been able to hold on because of what Christ had done for them. Their spirit, their faith and hope and love for Christ sustained their infirmity. Jesus had physical suffering, yes, such that many people died from before and after Him. But I had to stop and think of the torture of His Spirit. Who indeed could have borne that?

And that wasn’t the worst part, the worst part was that God, in His complete and perfect righteousness, had to turn His back on His Son Who had all the sins and wretchedness of the entire world on His shoulders. I tried to imagine for a minute what it would be like to know God had turned His back on me for just ten minutes. He could not look on me or hear me. I can’t even begin to imagine it! Yet Christ on the cross had to endure that. Even though He cried, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” He knew full why, and submitted willingly.

The more I think about those two aspects, the weight of the sins of the world, and His agony at having His own Father turn His back on Him, the more I agree with the phrase of that song.

As I was riding home from the store, I was praying aloud, as I often do when I’m alone in the car. I was just starting to get a glimpse of the true suffering of Christ (though I will never fully comprehend it!) and I asked the question “why?” I know it was because of love, but it was so hard to understand! And then if saving my soul wasn’t enough, He was now always “on call” for me. Ready and willing to listen to each and every trouble and request I have, and continuing to do things for me in ways I could never imagine.

I knew I could never understand that love, but I wanted to be able to kind of have an idea of why. Suddenly the thought of a grandparent popped in my mind. Grandparents always love their grandchildren. No matter what those children do that’s wrong, they still love them. And they don’t just love them, they also love to do things for them. A grandparent loves it when their grandchild needs something, and they can provide it for them, or if their grandchild asks them for something, and they can provide it. They never cease to love their grandchildren, and will love them, comfort them, and do what they can for them… even if they never get anything back.

Now this doesn’t even begin to describe God’s love for me, but seeing that, and place a grandparent’s love in perspective with God’s love (which is impossible to do, by the way!), I begin to feel overwhelmed. I started to tear up as the magnitude of what Jesus Christ did for me began to come together in my mind. Christ went through SO MUCH! And it was all because of love for ME! I am so unworthy! Praise and bless His Holy Name!

I just prayed earlier this week that God would show me more of His love, and place in me a desire to worship, honor, and serve Him because I WANT to, not just because I was supposed to, and He has begun! 

Thankfulness Challenge (Day 2)

I Am Thankful For...

     8. The fact that never at any time, for the rest of my life will I be without the presence of God.

     9. Faithful preachers of God's Word

     10. The fun we 7 sisters have getting ready for church in one bathroom! (Imagine four of us brushing our teeth at the same time, talking, laughing, and trying not to make a mess!

     11. A church family that will pray for me when I need it.

     12. God's wonderful peace.

     13. The love of my little sisters (shown even more by the fact that I'm gone to college much of the week.)

     14. My new Bible.

Thankfulness Challenge (Day 1)

I Am Thankful For...

I have been challenged by a dear sister of mine to try the 30-day Thankfulness Challenge. It basically involves prayerfully discovering seven things a day for which I can be truly thankful for. Here are the first seven!

1. The challenges God places in my life to help me grow in faith and trust in Him.

2. A wonderful friend like Rebecca (Who is coming to visit next weekend! Yay!) 

3. The book of 1 Peter (My "book of the month", meaning I read it through once a

day for the entire month.)

4. How so many times God has just the right passage prepared for me in my daily 

reading of His Word.

5. Only five weeks of school left!                                                                             

6. My brothers finally got the clothesline put up! :-D                                            

7. The beautiful day God blessed us with today (Albeit a bit chilly)!                      

Business No Excuse....

Hello Everyone!

I know that I have been pretty scarce of late, and I apologize for allowing myself to get so wrapped up with school that I have not been posting my verses! By God's grace, my priorities are hopefully straightened out, and school will not be all-consuming!

By way of update, I started college this August, and it has been quite the experience! I always thought that I would never go to college, that I would just stay at home until the Lord brought a husband my way, and then I would be a keeper at home and a help-meet for my spouse, supporting him in whatever work the Lord directed him in. This summer, however, the Lord opened wide every possible door, and I followed Him to the college campus with a working goal of Agricultural Informative Science.

Even though I am in college now, I am following God one day at a time, and one semester at a time. If it is His will for me to go completely through college, then praise His name! If not, it is because He has something even better for me!

I really struggled the first few weeks with old temptations, priorities, and having temptations to be something I'm not. I guess "peer pressure" (sounds ridiculous when everyone is years younger than I am!) and a spirit of independence started to actually work on me! In the back of my mind, I knew God wasn't in complete control of my life, and I began to feel the tension and stress.

I finally had to give up what I thought I wanted, and fully yield once more to following the plans God has for me in my life. Since then it has seemed like I am running a marathon of temptations and frustrations to try and get me off that path, but through Christ's strength, I know He can and will help me to continue on this road of victory in Jesus! I'd appreciate your prayers as I continue to strive to follow Him in EVERY area of my life.

I think that one of the reasons the struggles are so difficult is because I know God also led me to college specifically to grow in the area of witnessing. He has been teaching me a lot this summer, and He blessed me with college as a mission field. Please pray that I would have the boldness to speak up, and the discretion to know when to simply be a silent witness.

Thank you all for your love and prayers! Have a blessed day in our Lord!

Changing Seasons

For some of you, I have emailed or called and have been keeping you updated on what’s going on in my life. The rest of you have been pretty much in the dark about all of it. I’m sorry!

I guess I should start at the beginning.

Last year, my parents (and several of us older children) felt the Lord leading in a different direction. Our family ministry had been growing, and we were getting invited to many more places to sing and preach (Daddy preaching, of course). Most of our singing opportunities were in Mississippi, and spreading out from that area. We began to feel God starting pushing us in the direction of full-time ministry.

Of course there were several things that had to be sorted out. First was our church, and God worked that out in an amazing way. He started moving the different families in our church in different directions as well, so the official last Sunday was actually a blessing to pretty much everyone.

Secondly, we were not only going into full-time ministry, but God wanted us to move to that central location, in Mississippi! Last month, our house sold, and the signing of the purchase agreement is set for July 3^rd. Everything has gone super smoothly with all the papers, transportation, and everything. God had already allowed us to purchase a place in Mississippi, so all of us are going to squeeze into a tiny single-wide trailer until we get our house built.

God has been providing us with more and more ministry opportunities, and we have already been on the road more in the past year than we have ever been!

In the midst of all of this, God was starting to work His own plan in my life. To begin with, I naturally assumed I would be going with my family, doing what they do, etc. There is NOTHING I enjoy more than getting to sing and minister with my family.

I’m not exactly sure how it happened, but I started to feel like I was somehow going to be left behind to watch my family move forward. I’ll admit, I wasn’t exactly happy about it! I told a friend at the beginning of this year, “Something big is going to happen, I’m not sure what, but it would have to be either marriage or college!” I was half in jest, half serious. Little did I know…

For a short time, my sister was considering doing an on-line college, so my mom applied for PELL grants for the both of us. The only problem with me doing it was that there was no degree available that I felt led to do. I didn’t exactly want to do college just to do it!

Then at three different points in time, my daddy mentioned the community college that is not even ten minutes from our place in Mississippi. I started looking into it, and then at Mississippi State. NEVER would I have imagined I would be GOING to college, much less a secular college! But God started opening first one door, then the other. Then, before I knew it, there was nothing but green lights. The degree that God literally placed in my lap was Agricultural Informative Science with concentrations in Agricultural Leadership.  I would also be minoring in Music (Big surprise, huh?). I will be starting out at the community college, and then if God continues to keep the doors open, will transfer to Mississippi State to finish up my degree.

I was kind of excited, kind of nervous. I used to want to go to college years ago, for the wrong reasons, so I was so nervous about pushing ahead of God and not following His leading. So God has actually had to push me at times!

A couple weeks ago I was lying in my bed thinking about everything that God had worked out, then I began to think about the purpose of the degree I was getting. Sure, I always had loved plants and animals, and I loved working with them, and teaching others about them. The problem wasn’t with the degree, but I honestly couldn’t see how this degree could be used as a means of ministry or teaching others about God and encouraging them in their walk with Him. I mean, in the past I had taught a couple classes to homeschoolers about the garden, and tied in an object lesson from God’s Word, but I wasn’t quite sure about the BIG picture. I was awake until one o’clock thinking about it. God brought me to a point that night where I had to just place it in His hands and decide to keep walking forward as long as He opened doors, even if I couldn’t see His plans.

The very next day I was looking up some gardening info for someone, and I stumbled across a site, redeemingthedirt.com. Intrigued, I read some posts, then some more, then some more. He had a book he had written, and I ordered it. When it came in Friday, I read the entire thing that evening. It was like nothing I had ever read before. (Interesting note here: For the past week, I had been looking up references in the Bible about gardens, vineyards, plowing, etc. anything related to gardening, so I was already familiar with several of the passages he was using.) It talked about gardening from a whole different perspective, God’s Word. True, I may not have agreed with every little detail, but it was enough to give me the push I needed.

I have also recently watched some videos that proclaim the glory of God’s creation through different animals. Since my focus is both plants and animals, God really used it to speak to my heart in a special way. God has a way that He will use whatever I learn for His glory and Kingdom work. I just have to be faithful in studying and searching His Word for it, and waiting for the opportunities He brings my way.

So, I’m going to college, Lord willing. I’m still waiting for God to bring something else up and change the plans :-D, but so far He hasn’t. I would be fine either way, but I am now starting to get excited about learning, and am looking forward to what God will teach me in this new chapter of my life.

I think the most difficult thing for me during this transition hasn’t been about the move, leaving my friends, or even about going to college, but about not being able to participate in the family ministry. In the past nine months God has brought me to a place where I dove into our ministry whole-heartedly, holding nothing back, and I LOVED it! There is nothing that brings me more joy than when I am standing with my best friends (my siblings) at my side, singing praise and glory to our precious Lord.

Sure, I’ll still be able to go and sing with them at times, but I will not have the flexibility or freedom to go everywhere with them. God had to bring me to a place where I surrendered being a part of the family ministry to Him. God had brought me to a point where I loved ministering with my family more than anything, and now He wanted me to give it back to Him. With many tears and much pain, I did. I still have a little pang when I think about it, but am now looking forward to the plans God has for me, be it college or something else. Never did I think I would be going in a different direction than my family, but I want to be faithful in following God’s will for my own life.

I would greatly appreciate your prayers for myself and for my family as we go through this time together, and follow the Lord’s leading to be all that He wants us to be. May we be pure reflections of His holiness as we go about in His strength!